a day of struggle~

It's 10pm now~ I sitting right in front of my PC trying to figure something out.

Is it so diffcult to find someone to fill the emptiness in my heart?
or is it i'm afraid to get hurt one more time? Can you imagine the pain that was hurt by your loved ones?
It had been a struggling day for me to figure what i should do.
Right now, ( i didn't know whether i'm okay now) I wish someone can answer my tons of questions. It's very hard for me to accept some facts and i can't just simply turn away and pretend it never happen~
Can anyone teach me how should i response to my heart?

Basically, I do not want to face the fact. I just want to run away~
I cannot handle any stress and I cannot imagine myself to stand in front of everyone with the facts.

This happened to me once and i regretted accepting the fact. So this time round, I might decide to just run away.
Can i do that? Is it fair?
Or am i just thinking too much and make all this up?
atease~